Thank God It's Finally Over!

Yes folks, I know you've all read about 10 billion tweets about this already, but the lockout is finally over. Thank freakin God. Now I'll be anxiously awaiting the release of the schedule so I can find out how many times my beloved teams will be playing here in the home of the Stars.

Of course, in true Saucer fashion, the way I found out the lockout ended was just perfect. I was having a dream about Patrick Kane. I know what you're thinking but it wasn't a sex dream, it was much more realistic than that. Saucer was trying to convince Patrick Kane to have sex with her and he wasn't into it. Yes folks, it is true. Even in Saucer's dreams she is pathetic. But anyway, she almost had him convinced when her freakin phone started buzzing. Seriously, what asshole would interrupt an almost-sex dream with Patrick Kane in the early morning hours of a Sunday??? Well, it was Saucer's Blackhawks fan/buddy in Virginia who was texting to ask if the lockout rumors were true. Saucer jumped onto a trustworthy, integrity-filled sports news site (otherwise known as twitter) and it was CONFIRMED!

Remember many months ago when Saucer vowed not to support the NHL anymore? Fuck it, I've already paid for my season tickets. But even if I hadn't...I'm back on board boys. I'm ready for some hockey and still riding high after the USA gold win (fuck, that Alex Galchenyuk is smokin hot) and I've all but forgotten how angry I've been the past few months. So bring it boys - I'm ready for some hockey! And by the looks of it, Kaner is ready to come home.

Kisses!
~Saucer

Oh Segs...

So I've been a little grumpy lately. I'm grumpy about the lockout and that the World Juniors games are seriously cutting into my sleep schedule. I'm grumpy that Canada beat USA and as a result of a bet I made I had to denounce my country on Twitter and pledge allegiance to Canada. I'm grumpy that I can't retweet anything from my beloved Kaner for the next week because I don't want him to think I'm a turncoat...so yeah, things aren't all unicorns and rainbows for Saucer right now.

But wait, are the storm clouds parting? And what is that noise? Angels playing harps while Josh Groban sings? Nope, it's that Bruins beauty, and Saucer favorite, Tyler Seguin basically outing himself as a hockey fan fiction reader on twitter and replacing all of the negativity I've been feeling with pure delight.

 

 

I wouldn't normally post something on here which contained a direct link to a fan fiction site - not because I think our readers would be freaked out but because I think a lot of authors would be upset if the people they write about actually saw their stuff. But..since Segs tweeted it and he has 8 billion followers I'm OK with the screenshot. Plus the link isn't directly to a fic but to a page which definitely contains a lot of fic (and damn good fic I might add).

 

So what is so hilarious about this? Well...in order for Segs to find this he was likely either googling his name (I google 'Saucer' all the time so no judgement there) or he was out there reading fic and stumbled across this. God help me I want Tyler Seguin to be a reader of hockey fic more than you can ever imagine so I'm going with the latter. But also because he's been such a passive aggressive bitch with Tyler Brown lately and this tweet was the icing on the cake. Whenever Tyler posts something about his girlfriend Segs quickly replies with a joking comment (is it really joking, Segs) and then usually posts something Kaner related within a day or two. We get it Segs, you miss Tyler. You are trying to make him jealous. But Segs, everybody knows Kaner is taken so if you need to make Tyler jealous Saucer is wiling to take one for the team and be your fake, online girlfriend. I know, I know, it's a major sacrifice for me to make but I'm classy like that and it's the least I can do. #callmemaybe

 

Kisses!

~Saucer

Things I Miss About Hockey

Huge thanks to our dear friend @Lisapy74 for this amazing post. It's funny, smart, honest, and a million times better than the post/love letter Saucer was about to put on here regarding her ridiculously age-inappropriate crush on Alex Galchenyuk. Thank you Lisa for saving our dear readers from the lockout-induced creepiness Saucer has fallen into.

 

 

Things I miss about hockey - or lockout lessons....

Hockey is the greatest sport in the world. It's not just a ball being thrown down a field, dunked in a basket, or hit into center field. The players are on skates, blades so thin it's like they're nothing at all. They're chasing a puck, a little piece of rubber, with a stick, trying to score on a goalie, while they are wearing all this protective equipment and being chased by their opponent, and trying to avoid getting stripped of the puck or checked in to the boards. All of this while on a sheet of ice. Amazing. Mind boggling. What other sport has so many elements? Not to mention how fast they have to skate (forwards and backwards), and how hard they have to play during their shifts. They only get one timeout per game. And the goalie rarely gets to rest at all. And the goalies have pucks flying at their heads, sticks all around them, and players all up in their space, trying to score that perfect, dirty goal.

I'll admit - I came late to the game of hockey, but I fell in love with it like no other sport. I like baseball (but after watching a hockey game in person, it's so slow paced, it just doesn't keep my attention anymore). I grew up watching basketball and also a fierce supporter of the Duke / UNC rivalry. I never thought I'd love anything as much as Duke Blue Devils basketball, and Christian Laettner's buzzer beater against Kentucky in 1992, which still gives me heart palpitations. But hockey has so much more to offer. It's grittier, dirtier, and never ever lacks heart and passion. It's the only sport where the players are actually encouraged to fight each other. And, yes, sometimes the fights are my favorite part. It didn't take me long to develop fierce loyalties to certain teams, and a deep, abiding hatred for a few others.

With the lockout dragging on, I've felt like I've been thrown into rehab for drug addiction. Just a little bit of hockey is all I need to get my fix. I get excited when I find a college hockey game on my local sports channel, even though I know nothing about the players. I've waited and waited for the WJC and have never been so excited to see more players I know little about play the greatest game there is. There are certain NHL players I can't even think about right now, because it's too depressing. Wondering if they are slowly losing the last season they may ever play. Or if they will get traded to another team, because this is the last year of their contract. It breaks my heart to even think about. I know professional athletes are a commodity, and can be traded at will, so why do I allow myself to get so attached?

Is it the city a player plays for? The fans in that city? I think what makes the difference are the team mates, the chemistry they develop, the connection that long-time teammates have with each other. And that some players have so much heart, and just refuse to quit, that you can't help but love them. Root for them. Pray to the hockey gods that they get another chance to play again. Here, in the US, with us, their fans. That's what we need and that's what we want. At this point, I don't care about contracts and money and players vs. owners. I just want to see hockey again. I want to see the magic that happens on ice. I want to see the face splitting grins, the bone crushing hugs that come with a goal celebration. I want to see guys defend their teammate, if he is injured or targeted by another player. I want to see my boys chasing that high of winning. A single game. A streak. A President's trophy. A division. A conference. A CUP...not the Spengler cup, but the Stanley Cup. That's what I need, like I need air. And I know I'm not alone.

 

- @Lisapy74

Thanks again Lisa! Saucer feels your pain and wants the NHL back but you are hopeful and positive and a breath of fresh air compared to the bitterness which has consumed Saucer.
And here's a little randomness for you. Many, many years ago Saucer followed Christian Laettner around Mall of America when she was just a wee fangirl-in-training. She was like half his height - it is still embarrassing.

Kisses!
~Saucer

On the Twelfth Day of Christmas

On The

Paul Bissonnette

Day of Christmas, the Hockey Gods gave to me...

A Great 2012-2013 Season...Oh wait, they didn't give me SHIT this year!

Toews on NHL '11

10 Smokin Hot Pics of Sharpy

(best gift EVER)

Nine Gordie Howe Hat Tricks

Jarome Iginla

Gagner's 8 Point Game

Sam Gagner

Seven American Treasures

 Jonathan Quick, Timmy Thomas, Dustin Brown, Ryan "Light of my Life" Miller, David Backes, Brooks Orpik, Bobby Ryan

'06 Number One Draft Pick

 

 Erik Johnson

My Five Favorite Hawks!

 Brent Seabrook, Jonathan Toews, Duncan Keith, Patrick Sharp, Patrick Kane

Four Avs #4's

Uwe Krupp

 Rob Blake


 John Michael Liles

Nolan Pratt

Three Oilers/Barons

Jordan Eberle, Taylor Hall, Ryan Nugent-Hopkins

Two Former Sioux

Jonathan Toews and TJ Oshie

and

My favorite Russian Goalie

Semyon Varlamov

Merry Christmas everyone!!!

Kisses!

~Saucer



Dear NHL, You are Wearing me Out!

Wow, being a hockey fan has been like being on a freakin roller coaster the past week. We heard there was progress and the two sides were getting along then oops…sorry both sides still hate each other. We thought a deal was virtually done...oops, that was actually just another publicity stunt. And then we were subjected to a sudden wave of Fehr-Fanboy tweets from players. UGH, do hockey fans really come across as so stupid that we are expected to just fall for all this PR bullshit? It’s offensive and makes me feel less than warm and fuzzy about the NHL and a lot of my favorite players. Just shut your mouths and get a deal done. I will admit #PodiumWatch was deliriously funny. Obviously hockey fans are to a point of desperation when we manage to turn an entire evening into one giant joke around a podium. Fun times kids, fun times.

But on a happier note Saucer met Mike Modano and Richard Matvichuk this weekend. She even managed to keep it under control around Modano and didn’t act like a complete fool. Pretty sure he still recognized the scent of crazy wafting from her but he didn’t look too frightened so we’ll call it a win!

Kisses!

~Saucer

Thanksgiving

Even though I'm still bitter about the lockout and maybe wanted to dick punch every player vomiting PR bullshit on twitter yesterday, I have much to be thankful for so I would like to dedicate this post to all of those things.

First, I'm thankful that Patrick Kane is not only awesome at hockey but also really, really hot. Bonus for being American, I'll eat some turkey for you Kaner.

Second, I'm thankful for whoever made the jeans that Semyon Varlamov is wearing in this pic. Jesus Christ, Varly. I've never wanted to be a piece of clothing before but I would love to be those jeans. Yeah...I'm sleazy like that.

Third, I am thankful for shirtless Tyler Seguin pictures. "Tyler Seguin shirtless" is the google search which drives the most people to this blog. No lie, it's in the stats and we get dozens of hits every day due to Tyler's amazing body. But sorry Tyler, we also get hits from creepy searches for young boys so I get the impression it's not all hot, single girls and boys checking out your pics.

And the "real Saucer", the girl behind the mask (ha ha), is thankful for her amazing family and friends, her health, a great job, and the reelection of President Obama. The mimosas are flowing as I take a break from cooking to post this and I'm reminded there are more important things than the NHL lockout. Thanks to all the men and women in the armed forces and everyone who helps to keep my family safe and free. I'm most thankful for you and all you do for my country. Fuck, who am I kidding? Why lie? I'm most thankful for Patrick Kane. Sigh...

Kisses!
~ Saucer

Still Whining...

Sorry everybody, I’ve been too depressed to write about hockey lately. I’m ONE profile shy of completing Round 1 (it’s going to be Logan Couture) but I just am too sad to write. OK, maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit because I've actually been watching quite a bit of hockey. I'm catching the Sioux on TV - thank God for Fox Sports Central. Wait, did I actually thank God for a Fox network? What is happening to me? Anyway, lots of Sioux on TV and I've been catching AHL and Junior games live as often as possible.

But I really do need to stop following the news on the CBA negotiations. There will be promising news and I get my hopes way up, even though I know I shouldn’t, only to have them stomped on soon after. It’s sad, it’s depressing, and I really, really miss the NHL.

You know what doesn’t help? Pictures like this:

UGH, I don’t want them to have fun together. I want them miserable, sad, crying, and wanting to be back playing in the US!

On the other hand, you know what does help (a little)?

What is the point of these? Who cares, they are freakin hilarious! I hope like hell their NHL teammates are already printing color copies of these to plaster all over their lockers EVERY DAY once the NHL is back.

Other upsetting news, although my BFF @0kollberg promised me he would take good care of Landy, he hurt his head! He needed stitches! He is having headaches! Sweden, listen up here: TAKE CARE OF MY CAPTAIN!

Yesterday was Veteran’s Day, Beddee is off work today which is so unfair, and one of my very favorite players, Erik Johnson, pledged to donate for each time this was RT’d before midnight:

So guess what? He donated $36,000 last night. With politics and CBS negotiations polluting my timeline with negativity Erik Johnson was a bright, shining, happy star. Erik, you inspire us. Thank you for reminding us that there are way more important things in the world than an NHL lockout.

Kisses!

~Saucer

All By Myself...

If you've ever read this blog you are well aware that Saucer has four great hockey loves lusts. Semyon Varlamov, Danny Briere, Patrick Kane, and Mike Richards.

A little part of Saucer died when Varly didn't return from Russia and decided to play with the Lokomotiv during the lockout. But it was understandable, it made sense. I didn't feel too betrayed.

So yeah, maybe there were tears, maybe there was whining but overall I survived. After all, my other 3 favorite boys were still on the continent.

Then Danny left. Maybe I hid in a dark room and rocked back and forth for a few days. But at least he was with Claude.

Of course there has been talk about Patrick Kane going to play in Europe but I kept hearing that he was hoping to play with Toews, and fuck if I don't love that bromance, so I wasn't too upset about it. And then, earlier today, Patrick Kane broke my heart.

WTF Patrick? Running to Tyler?? You are supposed to go with Johnny! What are you doing? Haven't you been paying attention at all? Danny & Claude set such a good example for you. What is your problem??? Won't you miss this?? 

Tazer + Kaner > Segs + Kaner

So only one of Saucer's best boys is still around. The ever handsome Mike Richards has been practicing with some of the Jets. Stay there Richie, stay there! Please do not go to Europe!

I blame Tyler Seguin for all of my heartbreak and all I have to say is Tyler, stay away from Richie, stay far, far away!

Kisses, Tears, and Sniffles!

~ Saucer

How Social Media is Hurting the NHL and NHLPA

The lockout of 2004-2005 sucked. Fans were pissed and complained to their friends and family about the lost season. But then people moved on. Yes, we still grumbled and were angry but the lockout wasn't shoved in our faces 24-7. This lockout is different. With social media, specifically Twitter, fans know up to the minute details of the negotiations. We know who showed up for negotiating sessions and how long they stayed in the room, all in real time.

According to my Twitter time line players seem to be losing a lot of the support they had at the beginning of this whole mess. Talking trash just isn’t a good PR tactic boys! It’s bad enough that so many negative political ads are shoved down our throats but now we have to listen to the league and players bash each other as well? Fans are angry and don’t believe that either side is working very hard to come to an agreement. And when fans are angry they tweet about it. I watch my bitter followers feed off each other and am reading more tweets about not renewing season tickets and not purchasing NHL related gear.

As someone who traveled to Las Vegas last weekend for the cancelled Frozen Fury, it was frustrating. Thank goodness it isn’t in a boring city somewhere because at least Vegas managed to distract the many Kings and Avalanche fans who had already purchased airfare/hotel. It was sad to see the many disappointed Kings fans who had hoped to attend the game for the first time. So much for their Cup winning momentum.

And today the big news is that KHL games will be broadcast on ESPN3. Wait one second, I am going to be able to see Varlamov play? Hmmm, suddenly this isn’t so bad! I have local teams I can watch live and now I can watch the KHL on my computer or phone? Even better! Go ahead NHL and NHLPA, take your time. The longer it takes for you to make a decision the more time fans have to find new favorites and to move that famous hockey fan loyalty elsewhere. The league and players are counting on us, expecting us to flock back like we did after the 2004-2005 season. Well boys, with all of the alternatives which are put in front of us it is becoming less likely we’ll be back with the same intense loyalty.

So go ahead and talk trash, cut your meetings short, cancel more games. Right now I don’t care because my Stars season ticket refund is being processed and my Lokomotiv shirt is in the mail.

Kisses!

~Saucer

Don't Lock Me Out!

Although I fangirl and spend a lot of time joking about hot players I am actually a really big fan of the game of hockey and the threat of lockout has me beyond bummed. Let's take a look at some facts about Saucer: 

1.      This season I was set to attend 3 games in Denver, 1 in Phoenix, 1 in Vancouver, 1 in Philadelphia, and Frozen Fury in Las Vegas in addition to 20+ games in Dallas.

2.      I buy at least 3 jerseys per year plus calendars, posters, tshirts, etc.

3.      At the games I buy beer, food, and park valet (don’t judge on the valet, it is soooo much easier).

4.      When I moved to Texas I specifically chose a cable provider which offered NHL Center Ice so I wouldn’t miss any Avs/Flyers games.

5.      I tell anybody who will listen how awesome the NHL is and basically market the teams for free by blogging about players, tweeting about hockey on my personal twitter, wearing gear, sporting stickers on my car, etc.

Ok, so where am I going with all this? Well, I’m actually old enough to remember the last lockout and know I am lucky to live in a market with other hockey options. I would be more than happy to support my Texas Brahmas or Allen Americans this season. But guess what? If I leave I’m not coming back and that isn’t an empty threat. Anybody who has ever been in a fight with me knows I can hold a grudge for a really long time. Will I still swoon over Danny Briere...absolutely. Will Semyon Varlamov still be my favorite goalie in the league...you betcha! I’m not saying I won’t support my Avalanche and Flyers, because I will, but Stars season tickets…yeah, not so much. Buying multiple jerseys every year…not gonna happen. Watching games in 5 states and two countries over the course of one season…most definitely not. I'll still follow the NHL but the bulk of my money will stay with my local CHL teams.

So what, right? The NHL isn’t worried about losing Saucer, one random girl in Dallas. Well, maybe they should be. There are a lot of people like me who spend a ridiculous amount of money on tickets, travel, and merchandise related to hockey every season. If enough of us decide we’re over it we just might make a difference.

I’m not going to pretend I know all the details of the CBA or the negotiations but I know that if the NHL and players really cared about the fans as much as they say they do we wouldn’t have to worry about this. It’s not like they didn’t know it was coming, they’ve had plenty of time to hash this all out. So buck up guys, make some concessions and you’ll keep your fans.

Kisses!

~Saucer