Sticks: Toews

Showing posts with label Toews. Show all posts

Sunday, July 14, 2013

And the Winners Are

The 2013 Swords and Sticks NHL Award Winners have been named. Congratulations to all the nominees, it is a GREAT honor...oh, who the fuck am I kidding? Let's just get on with it.

The Ned Stark Award: Most Missed in 2013: Patrick Kane's Mouth Guard

I don't really even know what to say about this. Seriously...but yeah, I miss it too. Sigh...

The Bran Stark Award: Hottest Rookie: Alex Galchenyuk

Wow, I feel really, really old and really, really creepy right now.

The Tyrion Lannister Award: Hottest Defenseman: Kevin Bieksa

My name is Saucer and I support this message. Kevin Bieksa is fucking HOT. Plus he gave my kid a puck last season...in Dallas...and she was wearing a Modano jersey. He instantly became my forever-favorite Canuck.

The Arya Stark Award: Hottest Forward: Maxim Lapierre

Damn Max. Hot, hot, hot. Good luck in St. Louis. While I was sad for our friend and frequent guest blogger Lisa, I was also happy for myself because by moving to the Blues Saucer will see Mr. Lapierre much more frequently. And yeah, it's all about me.

The Drogon the Dragon Award: Hottest Goalie: Henrik Lundqvist

See you in Vegas King Henrik #FrozenFury

The King Joffrey Award: Dirtiest Player: Raffi Torres

The people have spoken. Saucer thinks Bertuzzi should have been in this, but she's just never going to get over that one. Never. Ever.

The Robb Stark Award: Worst Injury: Marc Staal

I really can't even watch this anymore. Hugs Marc, lots and lots of hugs.

The Jamie/Brienne vs the Bear Award: Best Fight: Jamie Benn & Joe Thornton

So we go from a video I can't stand to watch to one I could watch all fucking day. And the all-around-best hockey twitter account, @DallasStars, got a little snarky with the Sharks this week. Well played Stars.

The Theon Greyjoy Award: Hottest Player on a Team You Hate: Ryan Kesler

So Kes didn't actually have the most votes in this category but since Tyler Seguin was traded to the Stars and the Blues picked up Max Lapierre, I disqualified their hot asses. Because really, do that many people hate the Stars and Blues?

The Jamie Lannister Award: Player You’d Most Like to Punch in the Face and Then Make Out With: Alex Burrows

OK, so Saucer may have voted a few times in this category but she really, really wants to punch Alex Burrows and at the same time really, really wants to make out with him. Sorry, but sometimes I just can't help myself.

The Loras Tyrell Award: Best Flow: Scott Hartnell

Fuck yeah, Scott Hartnell has the best hair in the NHL! Although if Mike Commodore would get called up he'd give Hartsy a run for his money!

The Margaery Tyrell Award: Best Playoff Beard: Patrick Kane

So wait, in 2013 Patrick Kane was nominated for the Lady Byng and won the S&S NHL Award for Best Playoff Beard? If you had said that last summer I would have laughed in your stupid face. Oh how a year can change things (take note Segs, and chin up).

The Olyvar the Squire Award: Best Ass: Jonathan Toews

Wanna thank your mother for a butt like that. God DAMN Jonny Toews, that is one nice ass. Oh, and to the ONE person who voted for Sidney Crosby...please go away. We don't like your kind here.

The John Snow Award: Best Abs: Ryan Kesler

I once said Ryan Kesler was the hottest of ALL American men. Leonardo DiCaprio is a close second but Kes looks good and we appreciate how often he shows off that stomach. Very nice Mr. Kesler.

The Daenerys Targaryen... Best Nickname: Kevin Bieksa

As much as I like Juice, I was pulling for Andrew Shaw on this one because every time I hear they call him Mutt it just makes me laugh!

The Renly & Loras Award: Best Bromance: Patrick Kane & Jonathan Toews

The pictures say it all - these two are just too adorable for words.

So thanks everybody for voting and congrats to our winners!!

Kisses!

~ Saucer

Monday, February 11, 2013

Kaner, Kaner I Believe!

Saucer made the trek from Texas to Arizona to check out the Blackhawks @ Coyotes last week. Sorry, we would have posted these sooner but she was too busy hitting up flea markets with the oldies to bother to upload her pictures.

Anyway, the game was awesome - Kaner was a freakin BEAST (swoon!) and the Coyotes seriously sucked ass. Saucer even made it on TV. Yup, Saucer was rockin a #88 jersey on national television, desperately clutching her camera like the Kaner-crazed-weirdo we know she is.

Jonny Toews was looking quite grumpy through most of the game - and so was Kaner. Saucer is getting really sick of this new Patrick Kane grumpiness. But then again, maybe whatever is causing the grumpiness is what has triggered Kaner the Great and I sure as hell don't want that point streak to let up.

Could he be any cuter??

Kisses!
~Saucer

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

A Peek into the Nonsense that is Saucer's Life

So last night Saucer and her child, I know it’s shocking that Saucer has a child – calm down, were watching hockey. It was a typical night in the Saucer household, when this conversation happened:

‘Lil Saucer: Mommy, can Patrick come over for a sleepover?

Saucer: *racking her brain for which kid in her class is named Patrick* Well, probably not. You’re too young for sleepovers and I don’t know Patrick’s parents.

‘Lil Saucer: But Mommy, I really want to hang out with Patrick.

Saucer: OK, Patrick can come over for a play date. What’s his last name? I’ll get his mommy’s email address from the school.

‘Lil Saucer: Kane, duh Mommy. Patrick Kane…#88.

Saucer: If Kaner is coming to this house for a play date it’s with Mommy, not you. Sorry ‘Lil Saucer!

‘Lil Saucer: Mommy, he wouldn’t want to play with you! He would want to play with me!

Saucer: You do understand that Patrick Kane is an adult, right?

‘Lil Saucer: No he’s not! He’s a kid, like me. Look how tiny he is compared to everyone else on the ice.

Saucer: He’s not that tiny!

‘Lil Saucer: *raises her eyebrows and shoots Saucer a look*

This explains SO MUCH about ‘Lil Saucer’s obsession with Patrick Kane! I always thought my ridiculous fangirling had somehow been passed on to my offspring and she was destined to be as crazy as I am. But no, she just thinks Patrick Kane is a child! I cannot describe the relief which passed over me at that moment. Well, relief mixed with annoyance. He is not tiny! My kid weighs like 30 pounds. Where does she get off saying Patrick is tiny??

So anyway, let's take a moment and watch the ridiculously filthy pass from Jonathan Toews to Patrick Kane for his first goal (of two) last night. It's all fun to watch but Kaner's goal is around the 1:00 mark.