Sticks: Varlamov

Showing posts with label Varlamov. Show all posts

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Hawks, Vegas, and Roy

Wow, I don't really know what to say about the game last night. The goal/no-goal fiasco at the end of the third was beyond ridiculous but it's over so I've moved on. But who the hell would have guessed Seabs would score the winning goal and cement himself as a game 7 hero?? I would have thrown down money on Tazer, Kaner, Sharpie, Hossa, Duncs, Saad, Shaw...WOW I guess I would have guessed half the team over Seabs. So thanks for proving me wrong buddy, I won't doubt you again!

So...Saucer already has her tickets to Frozen Fury - September 27 & 28 in Vegas, baby!! Let's talk about this for a moment. This year, two games: Rangers/Kings and Avalanche/Kings. I don't usually get to see much of the Rangers so I welcome the idea of more drooling over King Henrik. Plus bonus for two nights of Richie. But the real reason I'm going is the same --- Varly!!!

So by now everybody (on this planet at least) is aware that Roy is the new head coach of my Avalanche. Yeah, I don't know what to think. On one hand I'm super excited. I just know he's going to get into a fight, I just KNOW it! I'm just unsure whether it will be with another coach or a player. On the other hand I worry about my sweet Varly. I don't want Roy to turn him into a psycho or break his sweet spirit. But there is one thing I'm certain on: I will fly to Denver just to see Roy scowl at Brodeur when they play the Devils. FUCK.YEAH. Every team in every arena is amazing and it's just one more thing I love about the realignment.

I'd like to end with this one thought: Patrick Motherfucking Kane, I want to lick the stripes on your mullet.

Kisses!

~ Saucer

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Saucer's Back, Bitch!

I've been MIA for a while now. Many, many apologies to all. I promise not to pull that shit again, Saucer's back, bitch!

So what has Saucer been up to the past few months? Well, here is a breakdown:

Somehow Saucer became a full-blown Dallas Stars fan. Fuck, that wasn't supposed to happen. She was only supposed to cheer for the Stars when it didn't impact the Avalanche, right? Well, did you see any Avs games this season?? There is nothing the Stars could have done to drop the Avs any more in the standings so Saucer found herself cheering for the Stars pretty much non-stop. And yes, the season tickets were renewed.
Sexy boy Varlamov looked so ridiculously hot when the Avs played in Dallas, Saucer could barely contain herself as she jumped around in her #1 jersey. Then he got pulled. Poor Varly.
Saucer got really close, no like REALLY close, to getting in fights with other fans during Stars games this year. One was during 2nd time the Blackhawks were in Dallas and the other was during the Avs game. Saucer barely kept herself in check but maybe, just maybe, called some bitch a fucking whore and tried to kick a stupid frat boy down the stairs at AAC. Maybe.
Old crush update:

Richie: God I'd like to punch him in the face as I make out with him. Such a pest...suck a sexy fucking pest.
Varly: Oh, I just want to hug him. His season was SO AWESOME to start, then his team let him down and he just went downhill. Next season will be better sweetie. (As long as Roy doesn't become coach and beat the shit out of him every day)
Danny B: Oh Danny Boy! He was hurt so much and now all these awful rumors/predictions that the Flyers are going to use a compliance buyout on him. Sigh. Danny, please come to Dallas. Saucer will take care of you and you would look smokin hot in a Stars uniform.
Kaner: Yeah, the mullet is back (yikes) but so are his filthy passes and ridiculously sexy goals. And he even might even seem to be just slightly less grumpy than he was at the start of the season! I will admit the Lady Byng nomination made him just slightly less appealing. Huh? You think that is weird? Well, there was something about all his drama that I found slightly endearing. Now he's all grown up and acting like Jonny-bot Part II. But if it means I can watch him get ridiculously drunk during another Cup-winning parade, well, it will be all worth it. And I am kidding (a little) and really do want Kaner to win the Lady Byng. I also want him to wear that rude, offensive shirt from Madison when he accepts the award.

New crush update:

Ok, before I say it I want everybody to shut up. Seriously, just shut up! Saucer maybe has a little crush on Alex Burrows. There, I said it. Yes, i said it in tiny font, but I said it nonetheless. My last blog post mentioned I was maybe starting to crush on Burrows but then, THEN, he had to get on freakin twitter. Yup, it's all over now.
Alex Galchenyuk: yeah, not so new either, is it? I think this crush may have started during World Juniors. Well, to top it off he retweeted a pic his sister had tweeted of him (damn that was confusing) and he is laughing and wearing shorts to show off those HUGE thighs. Yeah, no going back after that. It really isn't even that bad. Saucer acts like a 19 year old, so it's not even creepy, right? RIGHT??
Antoine Roussel: Feisty, hot, and showed more heart than anybody else on the Stars team. He's most definitely my favorite Star and really the overall Dallas favorite in the Saucer house.
Jamie Benn: I still think that video of Benn fighting Thornton is the hottest thing I've ever seen. When he flips his hair back...well goddamn Jamie Benn!!

So that's where we're at. Saucer is a jerk for staying off the blog but she promises to be back full time. And now that you're all caught up on her ridiculous fangirling - we can have some fun!!!

Kisses!

~ Saucer

Thursday, February 14, 2013

A Very Saucer Valentine's Day

Saucer would like to wish a very Happy Valentine’s Day to her favorite boys

(Thanks to @avprncess for the practically pornographic photo)

Semyon Varlamov: Oh Varly, I really hope the reason you aren’t starting tonight is because you are flying out to Dallas to cook a nice Valentine’s Day dinner for me. You make the dinner; I’ll cover dessert – oooh, la la!

(I can't believe I'm saying this but I miss that mouthguard)

Patrick Kane: Patrick, since you don’t have a game until tomorrow I expect you to help Varly with the dishes. That can be your contribution to the Saucer Valentine’s Day dinner extravaganza!

Mike Richards: Ok Richie, you get a bye. You have a confirmed real life girlfriend + Carts to take care of so you can go ahead and celebrate with them. But you could still send flowers…hint, hint…

Danny Briere: Well, what do you know? Danny doesn’t have a game either! My heels (which are adorbs) are killing me so you are in charge of the foot massage.

And my gift to all my favorite boys? The gift of Saucer’s adoration should be the only gift you need.

Kisses!

~Saucer

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Oh Varly, You Came and You Gave Without Taking...

Yes, this is pretty much the best picture of the ever delicious Semyon Varlamov that we've ever seen. Huge thanks to Mizzougirl3, my sister-from-another-mister (sorry, I love that phrase and can't stop using it) for sharing this with us. Eyes rolled back in his head, tongue out...Saucer has a filthy mind so I'm sure you can imagine what she's thinking. What, you can't? Well put yourself in the frame of reference of someone who stares at the pictures below for an hour or so every day while humming her own version of "Mandy" by Barry Manilow while replacing Mandy with Varly.

Yup, I went there. Thanks again Mizzougirl3! You made my night!

Kisses!

~Saucer

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Stars @ Avalanche

Let’s take a few minutes to talk about last night. It was Stars @ Avs and Saucer had some serious confusion during the game. Of course the Avalanche will always, always, always be Saucer’s favorite team but those darn Stars are growing on me! Shut up, you try going to every home game and see if you can keep yourself from liking the home team! It’s difficult, really difficult! OK, so Saucer was cheering for the Avalanche and swooning over Varly. Seriously, the picture below just makes way too many bad things pop into my head.

Anyway, the game gets off to an OK start…then Jamie Benn comes out like a baller and sneaks one past Varlamov. And what happened? I cheered! I felt bad instantly and begged forgiveness from the hockey gods. Stupid Stars, getting me all confused about who I’m cheering for. UGH.

I’m sorry Semyon, I feel as if I’ve let you down. I spent the rest of the game feeling guilty and cheering as loudly as possible for the Avs. So let’s talk about the Avs a bit – P.A. Parenteau is a freaking hockey god, Matt Duchene is suddenly in full-on beast mode, I miss Gabe Landeskog, and I’m starting to become angry at Ryan O’Reilly. Sign the freakin contract dude. Just SIGN IT.