Saucer's Back, Bitch!

I've been MIA for a while now. Many, many apologies to all. I promise not to pull that shit again, Saucer's back, bitch!

So what has Saucer been up to the past few months? Well, here is a breakdown:

• Somehow Saucer became a full-blown Dallas Stars fan. Fuck, that wasn't supposed to happen. She was only supposed to cheer for the Stars when it didn't impact the Avalanche, right? Well, did you see any Avs games this season?? There is nothing the Stars could have done to drop the Avs any more in the standings so Saucer found herself cheering for the Stars pretty much non-stop. And yes, the season tickets were renewed.
• Sexy boy Varlamov looked so ridiculously hot when the Avs played in Dallas, Saucer could barely contain herself as she jumped around in her #1 jersey. Then he got pulled. Poor Varly.
• Saucer got really close, no like REALLY close, to getting in fights with other fans during Stars games this year. One was during 2nd time the Blackhawks were in Dallas and the other was during the Avs game. Saucer barely kept herself in check but maybe, just maybe, called some bitch a fucking whore and tried to kick a stupid frat boy down the stairs at AAC. Maybe.
• Old crush update:
• Richie: God I'd like to punch him in the face as I make out with him. Such a pest...suck a sexy fucking pest.
• Varly: Oh, I just want to hug him. His season was SO AWESOME to start, then his team let him down and he just went downhill. Next season will be better sweetie. (As long as Roy doesn't become coach and beat the shit out of him every day)
• Danny B: Oh Danny Boy! He was hurt so much and now all these awful rumors/predictions that  the Flyers are going to use a compliance buyout on him. Sigh. Danny, please come to Dallas. Saucer will take care of you and you would look smokin hot in a Stars uniform.
• Kaner: Yeah, the mullet is back (yikes) but so are his filthy passes and ridiculously sexy goals. And he even might even seem to be just slightly less grumpy than he was at the start of the season!  I will admit the Lady Byng nomination made him just slightly less appealing. Huh? You think that is weird? Well, there was something about all his drama that I found slightly endearing. Now he's all grown up and acting like Jonny-bot Part II. But if it means I can watch him get ridiculously drunk during another Cup-winning parade, well, it will be all worth it. And I am kidding (a little) and really do want Kaner to win the Lady Byng. I also want him to wear that rude, offensive shirt from Madison when he accepts the award.
• New crush update:
• Ok, before I say it I want everybody to shut up. Seriously, just shut up! Saucer maybe has a little crush on Alex Burrows. There, I said it. Yes, i said it in tiny font, but I said it nonetheless. My last blog post mentioned I was maybe starting to crush on Burrows but then, THEN, he had to get on freakin twitter. Yup, it's all over now.
• Alex Galchenyuk: yeah, not so new either, is it? I think this crush may have started during World Juniors. Well, to top it off he retweeted a pic his sister had tweeted of him (damn that was confusing) and he is laughing and wearing shorts to show off those HUGE thighs. Yeah, no going back after that. It really isn't even that bad. Saucer acts like a 19 year old, so it's not even creepy, right? RIGHT??
• Antoine Roussel: Feisty, hot, and showed more heart than anybody else on the Stars team. He's most definitely my favorite Star and really the overall Dallas favorite in the Saucer house.
• Jamie Benn: I still think that video of Benn fighting Thornton is the hottest thing I've ever seen. When he flips his hair back...well goddamn Jamie Benn!!

So that's where we're at. Saucer is a jerk for staying off the blog but she promises to be back full time. And now that you're all caught up on her ridiculous fangirling - we can have some fun!!!

Kisses!

~ Saucer

A Very Saucer Valentine's Day

Saucer would like to wish a very Happy Valentine’s Day to her favorite boys

 (Thanks to @avprncess for the practically pornographic photo)

Semyon Varlamov: Oh Varly, I really hope the reason you aren’t starting tonight is because you are flying out to Dallas to cook a nice Valentine’s Day dinner for me.  You make the dinner; I’ll cover dessert – oooh, la la!

 (I can't believe I'm saying this but I miss that mouthguard)

Patrick Kane: Patrick, since you don’t have a game until tomorrow I expect you to help Varly with the dishes. That can be your contribution to the Saucer Valentine’s Day dinner extravaganza!

Mike Richards: Ok Richie, you get a bye. You have a confirmed real life girlfriend + Carts to take care of so you can go ahead and celebrate with them. But you could still send flowers…hint, hint…

Danny Briere: Well, what do you know? Danny doesn’t have a game either! My heels (which are adorbs) are killing me so you are in charge of the foot massage.

And my gift to all my favorite boys? The gift of Saucer’s adoration should be the only gift you need.

Kisses!

~Saucer



All By Myself...

If you've ever read this blog you are well aware that Saucer has four great hockey loves lusts. Semyon Varlamov, Danny Briere, Patrick Kane, and Mike Richards.

A little part of Saucer died when Varly didn't return from Russia and decided to play with the Lokomotiv during the lockout. But it was understandable, it made sense. I didn't feel too betrayed.

So yeah, maybe there were tears, maybe there was whining but overall I survived. After all, my other 3 favorite boys were still on the continent.

Then Danny left. Maybe I hid in a dark room and rocked back and forth for a few days. But at least he was with Claude.

Of course there has been talk about Patrick Kane going to play in Europe but I kept hearing that he was hoping to play with Toews, and fuck if I don't love that bromance, so I wasn't too upset about it. And then, earlier today, Patrick Kane broke my heart.

WTF Patrick? Running to Tyler?? You are supposed to go with Johnny! What are you doing? Haven't you been paying attention at all? Danny & Claude set such a good example for you. What is your problem??? Won't you miss this?? 

Tazer + Kaner > Segs + Kaner

So only one of Saucer's best boys is still around. The ever handsome Mike Richards has been practicing with some of the Jets. Stay there Richie, stay there! Please do not go to Europe!

I blame Tyler Seguin for all of my heartbreak and all I have to say is Tyler, stay away from Richie, stay far, far away!

Kisses, Tears, and Sniffles!

~ Saucer

The Briouxs are Back Together...

...but Saucer isn't one bit happy about it!!

Yup, Claude and Danny are together...in freakin Germany! Saucer has been too busy crying to write any new posts since she heard the news.

The videos below almost ended Saucer. Danny on a webcam....aahhhhh....but rather than the sexiness I always imagined when thinking about webcam Danny, my heart was broken.

Click here to check out the videos.

So I must apologize dear readers, but I've needed a few days to hide in a dark room and shamelessly cry. I promise I'll be back to normal Thursday with a post on my hometown hero - Jamie Benn!

Kisses (and tears)!
~Saucer