Wednesday, June 19, 2013

And the Nominees Are...

Here you go kids! Below are the finalists for the 2013 Swords and Sticks NHL Awards. Voting begins Friday and is open for one week so vote often & tell your friends. 

Here a few lessons learned while tallying up the nominees and writing this post:
  • Many people hate the Canucks
  • Those same Canucks haters seem to want to bang everybody on the team
  • The google searches related to Tyler Seguin which lead to our blog are frightening. Tyler, please be careful. The things people want to do to your abs make me uncomfortable
  • Patrick Sharp didn't get a single nomination...very unexpected
  • After putting together all of these pictures I've decided Max Lapierre may be hottest man. Ever. In the world.

   So here are your 2013 Swords and Sticks NHL Award Finalists!

The Renly & Loras Award: Best Bromance
I can't believe we live in a world where Eberle & Hall didn't even make the cut. This is a travesty!

Patrick Kane & Jonathan Toews  

Gabe Landeskog & Erik Johnson   (Saucer used her privilege as keeper-of-the-blog to add this bromance, even though they didn't get enough nominations to be in the top 3, because she thinks they are adorable)

Mike Richards and Jeff Carter    
They'll always be Flyers in my heart
PK Subban and Carey Price
This should have made the "Missed in 2013" category

The Daenerys Targaryen... Best Nickname

Kevin Bieksa – Juice

Ilya Bryzgalov – Mr. Universe 

Andrew Shaw – Mutt (really, they call him Mutt???)

The John Snow Award: Best Abs
I have some doubt around the authenticity of the pictures below. I think maybe I need some proof that these three guys actually look like this with their shirts off.

Chris Higgins

Ryan Kesler

Tyler Seguin

The Olyvar the Squire Award: Best Ass
So…this was hilarious because we only have TWO nominees – everybody seems to agree for once!

Sidney Crosby

Jonathan Toews

The Margaery Tyrell Award: Best Playoff Beard

Patrick Kane (huh??)

Ryan Kesler - hard to find pic considering their short playoff run...

Jaromir Jagr

The Loras Tyrell Award: Best Flow

Scott Hartnell (obviously)

Kris Letang

Ryan Jones

Roberto Luongo

The Jamie Lannister Award: Player You’d Most Like to Punch in the Face and Then Make Out With 
This category had a three-way tie so we ended up with five finalists. Canucks lovers, Lapierre missed by one vote

Kevin Bieksa

Alex Burrows 

Ryan Kesler

Milan Lucic     

Mike Richards

The Theon Greyjoy Award: Hottest Player on a Team You Hate

Ryan Kesler        

Maxim Lapierre 

Tyler Seguin

The Jamie/Brienne vs the Bear Award: Best Fight

Jamie Benn & Joe Thornton          

Patrick Bordeleau vs. Paul Bissonnette   
Antoine Roussel vs Brent Seabrook - Yes, this was a Saucer pick - DAMN Roussel!

The Robb Stark Award: Worst Injury

Sidney Crosby

Erik Karlsson

Marc Staal

The King Joffrey Award: Dirtiest Player
Interesting that all three players are from the West.

Dustin Brown     

Ryan Kesler

Raffi Torres        

The Drogon the Dragon Award: Hottest Goalie

Henrik Lundqvist              

Carey Price

Semyon Varlamov            

The Arya Stark Award: Hottest Forward

Gabe Landeskog     

Maxim Lapierre 

Tyler Seguin

The Tyrion Lannister Award: Hottest Defenseman

Kevin Bieksa

Erik Johnson

PK Subban

The Bran Stark Awards : Hottest Rookie
Two notes here: we had multiple votes for John Gibson but sorry, he’s not a rookie yet. Also, even though he looks like one Jeff Skinner is NOT a rookie :)

Alex Galchenyuk

Brendan Gallagher

The Ned Stark Award: Most Missed in 2013

Sean Avery 

Patrick Kane's Mouth Guard         

Ryan Kesler (Good LORD you people love Ryan Kesler)

Voting begins Friday. Remember, the winners will receive a certificate and a trophy. No, seriously, they will. I really can't wait to mail Raffi Torres I mean, somebody, The King Joffrey Award :)


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