Sorry everybody, I’ve been too depressed to write about hockey lately. I’m ONE profile shy of completing Round 1 (it’s going to be Logan Couture) but I just am too sad to write. OK, maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit because I've actually been watching quite a bit of hockey. I'm catching the Sioux on TV - thank God for Fox Sports Central. Wait, did I actually thank God for a Fox network? What is happening to me? Anyway, lots of Sioux on TV and I've been catching AHL and Junior games live as often as possible.
But I really do need to stop following the news on the CBA negotiations. There will be promising news and I get my hopes way up, even though I know I shouldn’t, only to have them stomped on soon after. It’s sad, it’s depressing, and I really, really miss the NHL.
You know what doesn’t help? Pictures like this:
UGH, I don’t want them to have fun together. I want them miserable, sad, crying, and wanting to be back playing in the US!
On the other hand, you know what does help (a little)?
What is the point of these? Who cares, they are freakin hilarious! I hope like hell their NHL teammates are already printing color copies of these to plaster all over their lockers EVERY DAY once the NHL is back.
Other upsetting news, although my BFF @0kollberg promised me he would take good care of Landy, he hurt his head! He needed stitches! He is having headaches! Sweden, listen up here: TAKE CARE OF MY CAPTAIN!
Yesterday was Veteran’s Day, Beddee is off work today which is so unfair, and one of my very favorite players, Erik Johnson, pledged to donate for each time this was RT’d before midnight:
So guess what? He donated $36,000 last night. With politics and CBS negotiations polluting my timeline with negativity Erik Johnson was a bright, shining, happy star. Erik, you inspire us. Thank you for reminding us that there are way more important things in the world than an NHL lockout.
In preparation for the upcoming season I am going to feature one player from every team in the NHL. Goalies are excluded because they’re interesting enough to garner a feature of their own so look forward to that as round 2.
#92 Gabriel Landeskog – Colorado Avalanche – Left Wing
The Past
Even though his lack of accent confuses the hell out of me, Gabriel Landeskog is from Sweden. Yes, another profile on a sexy Swede. Gabe played in the OHL and was Captain of the Kitchener Rangers (as was light-of-my-life Mike Richards) before being drafted 2nd overall in 2011 by the best team on the planet, the Colorado Avalanche.
The Love
Really what isn’t there to love? He’s a great freakin player and brought some excitement back to the Pepsi Center last year. So how good is he? Well, he won the freakin Calder so he was the best rookie in the league and arguably Saucer's favorite forward on the Avalanche.
But the craziest thing about Landy is how he managed to become everybody’s favorite player over the course of one season. Avalanche fans seriously love this guy and his willingness to engage with fans is as much of a reason as his skills on the ice. The dude is a twitter legend and he’s only 19 years old, hello...Landeskoging!!! I think every hockey fan on the planet follows him regardless of how they feel about the Avs. He’s like a less crude, more polite, and way better at hockey version of BizNasty. If you aren’t following him you are missing out. @GabeLandeskog92
The Hate
I bet you think there isn’t anything I hate about Landeskog, right? Well, you are wrong. I hate that he is only 19 years old and I absolutely lust after him.
19 year old boys are not supposed to look like this, they are not supposed to post sexy pictures of themselves all over twitter, and they are absolutely not supposed to be nice, funny, and mature. I mean, I crushed on Seguin when he was 19 because he was a hot mess, and nobody can resist a hot mess…am I right? But it’s different with Landy. He has his shit together and acts more like a 24 year old, thus confusing my brain into thinking it is acceptable to make the picture above the wallpaper on my work computer. Yes, I absolutely hate this about him.
Let’s Get Scrappy
Landy was in his fair share of fights in the OHL and considering the monster hits he throws down I predict that the number of fights he is in will increase with more experience in the NHL. Last year he saw his first NHL fight, against Jack Johnson. Yikes, not who I would have chosen for a first fight but good for Landy for not backing down!
Feed the Inner Fangirl/Fanboy
As of a few days ago, Gabriel Landeskog is now the Captain of the Colorado Avalanche and the youngest player to ever be named Captain of an NHL team. Although I really didn’t think it was possible, being named Captain somehow made Gabe even hotter.
But more than just making me swoon, he got me excited for hockey at a time when I’ve been pretty down. With the threat of a lockout looming the hockey die-hards on twitter have been grumpy as fuck (myself included). We’ve been whining, complaining, and over-evaluating every statement made by the NHL or NHLPA. I hadn’t seen a positive NHL related tweet in weeks until the announcement hit that Landeskog was named Captain. It was like the entire twitterverse smiled at once and suddenly everything was happy. I did a virtual high-five along with my fellow twitter-addicted Avalanche fans. Then I wandered around and informed all 700 people in my office building that Landy was the Avs Captain and explained why that is the best fucking news ever. Sadly most of my co-workers have barely heard of hockey (damn the South) but once I started flashing the picture below, which just happens to be saved on my phone, they were suddenly much more interested.
Let’s Mix in Some Swords
So how would Gabe fit into Game of Thrones? I admit my first thought was that Landeskog would be one of the children of the incest-twins but only because he is blonde and extra hot. Seriously, he could totally be their child...
But Beddee convinced me that Landy should be Robb Stark. Robb is hot and friendly but most importantly an honorable young king. Fine, I’ll give Beddee this one. He might have that sexy Lannister appearance but his heart is all Stark.
