Showing posts with label kesler. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kesler. Show all posts

Sunday, July 14, 2013

And the Winners Are

The 2013 Swords and Sticks NHL Award Winners have been named. Congratulations to all the nominees, it is a GREAT honor...oh, who the fuck am I kidding? Let's just get on with it.


The Ned Stark Award: Most Missed in 2013: Patrick Kane's Mouth Guard


I don't really even know what to say about this. Seriously...but yeah, I miss it too. Sigh...

The Bran Stark Award: Hottest Rookie: Alex Galchenyuk



Wow, I feel really, really old and really, really creepy right now.


The Tyrion Lannister Award: Hottest Defenseman: Kevin Bieksa


My name is Saucer and I support this message. Kevin Bieksa is fucking HOT. Plus he gave my kid a puck last season...in Dallas...and she was wearing a Modano jersey. He instantly became my forever-favorite Canuck.

The Arya Stark Award: Hottest Forward: Maxim Lapierre


Damn Max. Hot, hot, hot. Good luck in St. Louis. While I was sad for our friend and frequent guest blogger Lisa, I was also happy for myself because by moving to the Blues Saucer will see Mr. Lapierre much more frequently. And yeah, it's all about me.

The Drogon the Dragon Award: Hottest Goalie: Henrik Lundqvist


See you in Vegas King Henrik #FrozenFury

The King Joffrey Award: Dirtiest Player: Raffi Torres


The people have spoken. Saucer thinks Bertuzzi should have been in this, but she's just never going to get over that one. Never. Ever.

The Robb Stark Award: Worst Injury: Marc Staal


I really can't even watch this anymore. Hugs Marc, lots and lots of hugs.

The Jamie/Brienne vs the Bear Award: Best Fight: Jamie Benn & Joe Thornton


So we go from a video I can't stand to watch to one I could watch all fucking day. And the all-around-best hockey twitter account, @DallasStars, got a little snarky with the Sharks this week. Well played Stars.





The Theon Greyjoy Award: Hottest Player on a Team You Hate: Ryan Kesler


So Kes didn't actually have the most votes in this category but since Tyler Seguin was traded to the Stars and the Blues picked up Max Lapierre, I disqualified their hot asses. Because really, do that many people hate the Stars and Blues?

The Jamie Lannister Award: Player You’d Most Like to Punch in the Face and Then Make Out With: Alex Burrows



OK, so Saucer may have voted a few times in this category but she really, really wants to punch Alex Burrows and at the same time really, really wants to make out with him. Sorry, but sometimes I just can't help myself.

The Loras Tyrell Award: Best Flow: Scott Hartnell


Fuck yeah, Scott Hartnell has the best hair in the NHL! Although if Mike Commodore would get called up he'd give Hartsy a run for his money!

The Margaery Tyrell Award: Best Playoff Beard: Patrick Kane




So wait, in 2013 Patrick Kane was nominated for the Lady Byng and won the S&S NHL Award for Best Playoff Beard? If you had said that last summer I would have laughed in your stupid face. Oh how a year can change things (take note Segs, and chin up).

The Olyvar the Squire Award: Best Ass: Jonathan Toews


Wanna thank your mother for a butt like that. God DAMN Jonny Toews, that is one nice ass. Oh, and to the ONE person who voted for Sidney Crosby...please go away. We don't like your kind here.

The John Snow Award: Best Abs: Ryan Kesler


I once said Ryan Kesler was the hottest of ALL American men. Leonardo DiCaprio is a close second but Kes looks good and we appreciate how often he shows off that stomach. Very nice Mr. Kesler.

The Daenerys Targaryen... Best Nickname: Kevin Bieksa


As much as  I like Juice, I was pulling for Andrew Shaw on this one because every time I hear they call him Mutt it just makes me laugh! 

The Renly & Loras Award: Best Bromance: Patrick Kane & Jonathan Toews








The pictures say it all - these two are just too adorable for words. 


So thanks everybody for voting and congrats to our winners!!

Kisses!
~ Saucer

Monday, May 27, 2013

The Heartbreak of Hockey

The best days around this blog are when our wonderful, hockey-loving friends offer to guest post. Thanks to @lisapy74 (Canucks Superfan Extraordinaire)  for the post below -- amazing, as always! We love posts from Lisa and would love posts from other hockey fans. Hint, hint!!

The Heartbreak of Hockey

I understand that hockey is a sport, and that players are basically a commodity, who can be bought and sold at will.  But really, where is a player's incentive to try harder, to push himself, to prove himself, if he can be traded away at any given moment?

Perfect example - the Vancouver Canucks.  They've been knocked out of the first round of the playoffs for two years straight.  This year, they got swept, didn't even win a single game.  Although Game 4 did look promising for a minute.  But honestly, I don't blame the players.  I blame the Canucks' organization - the GM and the Coach, first and foremost. (Note: Lisa wrote & sent this to use before the BIG changes in Vancouver!!)

Every team in the league who under-performed or didn't meet their fans' expectations this year can fall back on the same excuses:  the lockout, a shortened season, player injuries, and not a lot of options at the trade deadline to improve their team.

So, why did some teams do so much better than others? Vancouver has heart, and grit, and will.  They have the determination and the strength.  The guys have really tried to develop the team chemistry it takes to win.  Why didn't they? Maybe I'm just a bitter fan at the moment, disillusioned by the prospect that my team is about to be blown to bits, and have it called a 're-organization, or a reset', as Mike Gillis loves to say. 
Let's see.  Yes, players were injured (God bless Ryan Kesler for playing seven, yes seven, games with a broken foot), but that wasn't the real problem.  The coaching and the management are the real problem.  Team skates seemed to be optional more often than not.  I think the Canucks rarely, if ever, practice the shoot-out even though it played a major factor this season when every single point was important.  I still don't understand why the Sedins only seldom kill penalties, and why they don't participate in the shoot-out.  Players with their skill level (and salary) should not have that option.  They are part of the team, right? Don't get me wrong, I'm not blaming the Sedins, I'm just saying, where is their fire? If I thought it would help my team win a championship, damn right I'd take a turn at the shoot-out, kill penalties, and get fired up and fight back when other teams repeatedly pushed me too far.  But they don't, and it's sad.  It's sad, because I have a sick feeling my team is going to get blown up in the near future, all in the name of a rebuild.

Don't make a guy who's a natural center play a winger position.  Don't put a right-handed defenseman on the left-hand side and out of his comfort zone.  Quit switching your D-pairings and your forward line combinations so much it makes my head spin.  If you call someone up from the AHL, let him play for more than one or two games.  Otherwise, what's the point? How do you even know what the guy can do in two games? With all of this, plus injuries, and the so-called goalie controversy, how can a team manage to build lasting chemistry? Hey, let's put a rookie on the top line with the Sedins.  Let's make Kesler play on the wing, and Burrows play center, while we're at it.  Hamhuis and Bieksa, let's split them up, screw their great chemistry and how they always know where the other one is going to be on the ice. 

God forbid we practice the power play, because that's not important at all, right? And Vancouver may be guilty of occasional diving or embellishment, but they also don't get a lot of breaks when it comes to penalty calls either.  I've seen Alex Burrows (in person) get whacked across the back of the legs repeatedly by an opponent, while the refs seem not to notice, until he snaps, and retaliates - and then he gets called for a penalty! How is that fair?

Let's put poor Schneider in cold for playoff games, when he hasn't played in two weeks, after battling a groin injury.  Let's yo-yo Luongo - you're our number one, no number two, no let's trade you, no let's keep you.  Make a decision and stick it with it AV.  At least act like you care about your players and about the game.  It matters to these guys and it matters to the fans.  And your job should be on the line after this season.  Yours, and the GM's.  Not the players' jobs.

My real problem with the Canucks' early exit is that a player like Mason Raymond is still getting grief from the fans.  He can't score a goal in the playoffs (but he did).  He's not fast enough (but he's one of the quickest skaters).  He falls down all the time (give me a break).  Not to mention, he was willing to play center, not his natural position, when called upon.  I remember one of the analysts said not that long ago, and I'm paraphrasing here, 'I shudder to think where this Vancouver team would be without Mason Raymond right now.'  And now he's one of the first to face the threat of the chopping block.  After all he's overcome, and how much he's improved, he still can't do enough for this team.  He wants to stay in Vancouver - that's where he started his career and his family.  I want him to stay in Vancouver.  Don't penalize a player for a team's shitty season, and blame it on the salary cap.  It infuriates me that every time something goes wrong, Raymond is always one of the first to be thrown under the bus.  He's given his all to this team, after what could have been a career ending injury, and he refused to give up.

Even though they're out of the playoffs again, I refuse to give up on this team.  Yes, I understand that players have to be traded and that they can't play hockey forever.  But don't blow up a team just because the top dogs can't perform at the level they should be.  Why can the status quo be maintained for these guys, but the players (and fans) have to pay the price? I put my heart and soul in to supporting this team, like any other hockey fan.  I've cried, I've screamed, I've cursed and I know I'll cry some more.  I'm emotionally invested, I care, probably more than I should.  So why doesn't management seem to care at all?


I still believe in the Canucks - the core group that we have.  And anyone who thinks Raymond isn't, or shouldn't, be a part of that, hasn't been paying attention.  I'd give anything to see my team still on the ice, battling it out for a chance to go for the Cup.  I'd give anything to know that my team won't be a bunch of strangers come next season.  All I can do at this point is pray to the hockey gods that some common sense prevails, and the people in charge are finally held accountable.  And that I make it through the summer.


- Thanks again to Lisa for the awesome post. Saucer feels the need to comment on a few important points after reading Lisa's awesome post:

1 - You should be following her on twitter - @lisapy74
2 - Alex Burrows is hot as fuck. Sentences which contain "Alex Burrows" and "whacked across the back of the legs repeatedly" somehow get jumbled into something with a way different meaning in Saucer's head. Does that happen to anybody else??
3 - The Sedins are hella creepy. Enough said.
4 - Saucer's Avs & Flyers struggled too, but I honestly think it's better to not make the playoffs at all than to get swept in the first round. Lisa, next year will be better. I know it.
5 - So Lisa sent this before AV was fired but after reading it I think she has a lot of good points. I think Lisa should be the next coach of the Canucks. Lisa, if that happens I'm absolutely, 100% positive we can work something out so Saucer can have a job with the team. I have a very diverse skill set...

Kisses!
~Saucer


Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Kesler the Great

Saucer would like to send a huge THANK YOU to our dear friend @Lisapy74 for the great post below on Ryan Kesler. For some reason Saucer can't string coherent sentences together when talking about Ryan Kesler so it was necessary to enlist the help of our Canucks Superfan, Lisa!
Kisses!
~Saucer

So, I've been asked by my great friend Saucer to write about Mr. Ryan Kesler.  I feel like I should be listening to "I'm Sexy and I Know It" while I write this.  What does one say about Kes? Besides the fact that he's hot? Like really hot? Unfairly hot? I've been thinking about that all week, and it's been very distracting! Don't believe me - see for yourself:

Yes, he's on one of my favorite teams, the Vancouver Canucks.  He's an all-American boy.  His hair is always interesting.  He's patented the "Kes bomb" and uses it to crack up his team mates and annoy and humor photographers and interviewers.

He's got great chemistry with his teammates (hello, Burrows and Bieksa, just to name two).  He's willing to put his body on the line and willing to go the distance for his team.  Sure, some may accuse him of being a diver, but nobody can say he lacks heart.  He gives 110% and is the kind of guy who doesn't know the meaning of the word quit.  He tweets with his fans and even posts pics from his high school reunion! And he's great with his kids - if these pictures don't melt your heart, then you're colder than Gary Bettman.


      

All these things just make me love Kes more.  And his determination to come back from surgeries and injuries is inspiring.  No wonder the man makes me (and Saucer) swoon! He's sexy when he's playing (for the USA!), when he's glaring, when he's fighting, when he's bleeding and dear God, he's heart breaking when he's crying.  Need convincing?





I really hope this stupid lockout ends soon, because I really want to see all my boys back on the ice, but especially Kes.  There's nobody else like him and he definitely has a special place in my heart.  And I'm sure (I know) I'm not the only one.  I'd love to see him play another game in person.  When I had the opportunity to see him play in a game against the 'Canes, it just reinforced my love for him! He's more intimidating, taller, and yes, sexier, in person.  But, most importantly, he's a hell of a player and I want to see him come back stronger than ever and blow everyone's expectations out of the water!
He may be the cause of some interesting twitter conversations, a hell of a chirper (just ask David Backes), and a little hot headed, but I will always love him! He speaks his mind and is not afraid to let everyone know what he thinks and how he feels.  Confidence and cockiness, they do it every time.  Thank God for Kes.


And thank you again to Lisa for her awesome post!!!