Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Paul "BizNasty" Bissonnette - Phoenix Coyotes

In preparation for the upcoming season To occupy myself during the lockout, I am going to feature one player from every team in the NHL. Goalies are excluded because they’re interesting enough to garner a feature of their own so look forward to that as round 2.
#12 Paul “BizNasty" Bissonnette – Phoenix Coyotes – Left Wing

I’m too angry about the lockout to really discuss much about hockey so for this post I chose a player who is more than entertaining without really even having to talk about the game – Paul “BizNasty” Bissonnette.
The Past
He’s from Canada and played in the OHL before going 121st in the 2003 draft to the Penguins (boo). He started with the Wheeling Nailers (hell yeah, best team name EVER), before jumping around a bit and eventually landed in Phoenix. God damn I want that team to stay in Phoenix. I was all set to go to the Coyotes/Blackhawks game on 2/9/13 because if they move before I see a game there it really screws up my goal of visiting every arena. Now the stupid lockout could last the whole season and if they move, I miss out. Wow, sorry, back on track. BizNasty plays for Phoenix. He jokes a lot about his playing ability but he’s a much better player than the twitterverse gives him credit for. He’s one of my favorite fighters in the league and is fun to watch.
The Love
BizNasty is pretty much a twitter legend. If you are a hockey fan on twitter you follow the guy, whether you like him or not. He is known to absolutely destroy fans who talk trash and it seems most get harassed so badly by other fans after a Biz Bashing that they usually end up deleting their accounts. It is fantastic, it makes me laugh, and even though he sometimes comes across as a douche I’d buy the guy a drink if I ever ran into him in a bar. In my mind he’s second only to Ryan Whitney when it comes to twitter trash talk.
The Hate
I kind of hate that BizNasty is friends with Giroux. The Claude who lives in my head is really sweet, naïve, and extra innocent. Something about seeing Giroux & Bissonnette together at the NHL Awards this year really freaked me out. Of course the Claude in my head is also in love with Danny Briere, so there could be some seriously flawed logic here. But even though I may be a head case when it comes to Giroux, something about this interview just really creeps me out.

And of course the thing I love about Biz is also something I hate, all the nonsense on twitter can be a bit much. The Kovalchuk shit kind of rubbed me the wrong way, but I'm still glad he's back. 
Let’s Get Scrappy
Having a nickname like BizNasty doesn’t really happen if you aren’t a scrappy dude. Seriously, can you imagine calling Jonathan Toews BizNasty? Yeah…not so much. So yeah, BizNasty gets in his share of fights.
Damn, this first fight is insane. Jody Shelley is a freakin beast and BizNasty more than holds his own.

And another, fuck he’s fun to watch.

Feed the Inner Fangirl/Fanboy 
Yeah, he’s hot. Beddee will be cringing when she reads this, but seriously…Saucer wouldn’t kick him out of bed.
But I couldn’t talk about Biz being hot without posting the pic below. Seriously…holy shit. It is rare for Saucer to lose her words but the first time she saw this picture she was speechless for a good 60 seconds. There is just something about a hot, tatted up dude barely covering his junk with a religious t-shirt to make this Catholic girl really, really turned on. This would so be the wallpaper on my work computer if I wasn’t afraid of a sexual harassment claim from the douche who sits across from me.

Let’s Mix in Some Swords
And of course a post on this blog wouldn’t be complete without a half-ass attempt at turning our beloved Biz into a Game of Thrones character. I must say that Beddee did it best, comparing Bissonnette to the always slimy Littlefinger.

Like Littlefinger, Biz can’t quite be trusted and is potentially looking out for himself more than others. But more importantly he is clever, hilarious, and always knows where the girls are. Party on Biz.

~ Saucer

No comments:

Post a Comment