Monday, October 15, 2012

Mike Richards - LA Kings

In preparation for the upcoming season To occupy myself during the lockout, I am going to feature one player from every team in the NHL. Goalies are excluded because they’re interesting enough to garner a feature of their own so look forward to that as round 2.
#10 Mike Richards – Los Angeles Kings – Center
In case you’ve never read the section of this blog titled Who Are These People, you should be forewarned. Saucer has a ridiculous, massive, almost creepy crush on Mike Richards. Proceed at your own risk.

The Past
Richie was drafted 24th overall in the 2003 draft by the Flyers. Pop Quiz: who was drafted 11th overall by the Flyers that year? Jeff Carter, and so it begins…

After a couple years with the Kitchener Rangers he went to the Phantoms and then Flyers. He tore it up with the Flyers, became Captain, and signed a ridiculously long contract which led fans to believe we would enjoy many, many more years with our beloved Richie & Carter duo. Then, in what could have been pulled from the pages of a Harlequin romance novel, they were ripped apart by a greedy and deceitful man.
Yeah, I signed them both to super long term deals and then immediately traded them…what’s wrong with that?
So yes, the boys were tragically separated but Mike got the better end of the deal, going to LA while poor Jeff went to Columbus.
But is this love story over? Hell no! They were reunited and won the Stanley Cup - Suck it Holmgren!

The Love
Oh Mike Richards….he’ll always be my Captain and I will always hate Holmgren for taking him away from me.  He’s a grinder; he plays ridiculously hard, is one half of the hottest bromance in the league, and has a tendency to be whiny and passive aggressive with the media --- well as least with the Philly media.

Plus, maybe he’s really, really, really cute.

The Hate
I hate that Richie doesn’t play for the Flyers anymore. It still bothers me to see Richie wearing #10. I hate that he won The Cup with the Kings instead of the Flyers and I hate that he isn't married to Jeff Carter.
Let’s Get Scrappy
Mike Richards most definitely does not back down from a fight. He isn’t the biggest guy on the ice but he is scrappy as hell.
This is my all time favorite Richie fight. So why is the fight below, not even a Flyers fight, my favorite? Because he is SO much smaller than Hanzal but refuses to back down.

And my favorite almost fight:

Feed the Inner Fangirl/Fanboy 
In what can only be considered a giant conspiracy, there aren’t any pictures or video of their freakin faces during the Richie to Carter Cup handoff. What the hell did he say to him????? Seriously, how could this happen? I half expected them to make out on the ice so not seeing that was disappointment enough, but to be robbed the opportunity to lip read? Well, that isn’t even fair.

Go to 1:05
To reduce my disappointment I’ll stare at the gif below for an hour or so.

Let’s Mix in Some Swords
Sometimes it is really difficult to compare a hockey player to a Game of Thrones character, but Mike Richards is, without a doubt, Renly Baratheon (spoiler: Jeff Carter is Loras).
So what do they have in common? How about a hidden love which began when they were young and became stronger as adults. A commitment was made, basically securing them to each other forever until a wicked old man ripped them apart.
Thankfully Richie & Carts have a much happier ending than poor Renly and Loras.

~ Saucer

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