Wow, I don't really know what to say about the game last night. The goal/no-goal fiasco at the end of the third was beyond ridiculous but it's over so I've moved on. But who the hell would have guessed Seabs would score the winning goal and cement himself as a game 7 hero?? I would have thrown down money on Tazer, Kaner, Sharpie, Hossa, Duncs, Saad, Shaw...WOW I guess I would have guessed half the team over Seabs. So thanks for proving me wrong buddy, I won't doubt you again!
So...Saucer already has her tickets to Frozen Fury - September 27 & 28 in Vegas, baby!! Let's talk about this for a moment. This year, two games: Rangers/Kings and Avalanche/Kings. I don't usually get to see much of the Rangers so I welcome the idea of more drooling over King Henrik. Plus bonus for two nights of Richie. But the real reason I'm going is the same --- Varly!!!
So by now everybody (on this planet at least) is aware that Roy is the new head coach of my Avalanche. Yeah, I don't know what to think. On one hand I'm super excited. I just know he's going to get into a fight, I just KNOW it! I'm just unsure whether it will be with another coach or a player. On the other hand I worry about my sweet Varly. I don't want Roy to turn him into a psycho or break his sweet spirit. But there is one thing I'm certain on: I will fly to Denver just to see Roy scowl at Brodeur when they play the Devils. FUCK.YEAH. Every team in every arena is amazing and it's just one more thing I love about the realignment.
I'd like to end with this one thought: Patrick Motherfucking Kane, I want to lick the stripes on your mullet.
I've been MIA for a while now. Many, many apologies to all. I promise not to pull that shit again, Saucer's back, bitch!
So what has Saucer been up to the past few months? Well, here is a breakdown:
Somehow Saucer became a full-blown Dallas Stars fan. Fuck, that wasn't supposed to happen. She was only supposed to cheer for the Stars when it didn't impact the Avalanche, right? Well, did you see any Avs games this season?? There is nothing the Stars could have done to drop the Avs any more in the standings so Saucer found herself cheering for the Stars pretty much non-stop. And yes, the season tickets were renewed.
Sexy boy Varlamov looked so ridiculously hot when the Avs played in Dallas, Saucer could barely contain herself as she jumped around in her #1 jersey. Then he got pulled. Poor Varly.
Saucer got really close, no like REALLY close, to getting in fights with other fans during Stars games this year. One was during 2nd time the Blackhawks were in Dallas and the other was during the Avs game. Saucer barely kept herself in check but maybe, just maybe, called some bitch a fucking whore and tried to kick a stupid frat boy down the stairs at AAC. Maybe.
Old crush update:
Richie: God I'd like to punch him in the face as I make out with him. Such a pest...suck a sexy fucking pest.
Varly: Oh, I just want to hug him. His season was SO AWESOME to start, then his team let him down and he just went downhill. Next season will be better sweetie. (As long as Roy doesn't become coach and beat the shit out of him every day)
Danny B: Oh Danny Boy! He was hurt so much and now all these awful rumors/predictions that the Flyers are going to use a compliance buyout on him. Sigh. Danny, please come to Dallas. Saucer will take care of you and you would look smokin hot in a Stars uniform.
Kaner: Yeah, the mullet is back (yikes) but so are his filthy passes and ridiculously sexy goals. And he even might even seem to be just slightly less grumpy than he was at the start of the season! I will admit the Lady Byng nomination made him just slightly less appealing. Huh? You think that is weird? Well, there was something about all his drama that I found slightly endearing. Now he's all grown up and acting like Jonny-bot Part II. But if it means I can watch him get ridiculously drunk during another Cup-winning parade, well, it will be all worth it. And I am kidding (a little) and really do want Kaner to win the Lady Byng. I also want him to wear that rude, offensive shirt from Madison when he accepts the award.
New crush update:
Ok, before I say it I want everybody to shut up. Seriously, just shut up! Saucer maybe has a little crush on Alex Burrows. There, I said it. Yes, i said it in tiny font, but I said it nonetheless. My last blog post mentioned I was maybe starting to crush on Burrows but then, THEN, he had to get on freakin twitter. Yup, it's all over now.
Alex Galchenyuk: yeah, not so new either, is it? I think this crush may have started during World Juniors. Well, to top it off he retweeted a pic his sister had tweeted of him (damn that was confusing) and he is laughing and wearing shorts to show off those HUGE thighs. Yeah, no going back after that. It really isn't even that bad. Saucer acts like a 19 year old, so it's not even creepy, right? RIGHT??
Antoine Roussel: Feisty, hot, and showed more heart than anybody else on the Stars team. He's most definitely my favorite Star and really the overall Dallas favorite in the Saucer house.
Jamie Benn: I still think that video of Benn fighting Thornton is the hottest thing I've ever seen. When he flips his hair back...well goddamn Jamie Benn!!
So that's where we're at. Saucer is a jerk for staying off the blog but she promises to be back full time. And now that you're all caught up on her ridiculous fangirling - we can have some fun!!!
Let’s take a few minutes to talk about last night. It was Stars @ Avs and Saucer had some serious confusion during the game. Of course the Avalanche will always, always, always be Saucer’s favorite team but those darn Stars are growing on me! Shut up, you try going to every home game and see if you can keep yourself from liking the home team! It’s difficult, really difficult! OK, so Saucer was cheering for the Avalanche and swooning over Varly. Seriously, the picture below just makes way too many bad things pop into my head.
Anyway, the game gets off to an OK start…then Jamie Benn comes out like a baller and sneaks one past Varlamov. And what happened? I cheered! I felt bad instantly and begged forgiveness from the hockey gods. Stupid Stars, getting me all confused about who I’m cheering for. UGH.
I’m sorry Semyon, I feel as if I’ve let you down. I spent the rest of the game feeling guilty and cheering as loudly as possible for the Avs. So let’s talk about the Avs a bit – P.A. Parenteau is a freaking hockey god, Matt Duchene is suddenly in full-on beast mode, I miss Gabe Landeskog, and I’m starting to become angry at Ryan O’Reilly. Sign the freakin contract dude. Just SIGN IT.
I love this face. Please don’t make Saucer any more angry than she already is.
In preparation for the upcoming season I am going to feature one player from every team in the NHL. Goalies are excluded because they’re interesting enough to garner a feature of their own so look forward to that as round 2.
#92 Gabriel Landeskog – Colorado Avalanche – Left Wing
The Past
Even though his lack of accent confuses the hell out of me, Gabriel Landeskog is from Sweden. Yes, another profile on a sexy Swede. Gabe played in the OHL and was Captain of the Kitchener Rangers (as was light-of-my-life Mike Richards) before being drafted 2nd overall in 2011 by the best team on the planet, the Colorado Avalanche.
The Love
Really what isn’t there to love? He’s a great freakin player and brought some excitement back to the Pepsi Center last year. So how good is he? Well, he won the freakin Calder so he was the best rookie in the league and arguably Saucer's favorite forward on the Avalanche.
But the craziest thing about Landy is how he managed to become everybody’s favorite player over the course of one season. Avalanche fans seriously love this guy and his willingness to engage with fans is as much of a reason as his skills on the ice. The dude is a twitter legend and he’s only 19 years old, hello...Landeskoging!!! I think every hockey fan on the planet follows him regardless of how they feel about the Avs. He’s like a less crude, more polite, and way better at hockey version of BizNasty. If you aren’t following him you are missing out. @GabeLandeskog92
The Hate
I bet you think there isn’t anything I hate about Landeskog, right? Well, you are wrong. I hate that he is only 19 years old and I absolutely lust after him.
19 year old boys are not supposed to look like this, they are not supposed to post sexy pictures of themselves all over twitter, and they are absolutely not supposed to be nice, funny, and mature. I mean, I crushed on Seguin when he was 19 because he was a hot mess, and nobody can resist a hot mess…am I right? But it’s different with Landy. He has his shit together and acts more like a 24 year old, thus confusing my brain into thinking it is acceptable to make the picture above the wallpaper on my work computer. Yes, I absolutely hate this about him.
Let’s Get Scrappy
Landy was in his fair share of fights in the OHL and considering the monster hits he throws down I predict that the number of fights he is in will increase with more experience in the NHL. Last year he saw his first NHL fight, against Jack Johnson. Yikes, not who I would have chosen for a first fight but good for Landy for not backing down!
Feed the Inner Fangirl/Fanboy
As of a few days ago, Gabriel Landeskog is now the Captain of the Colorado Avalanche and the youngest player to ever be named Captain of an NHL team. Although I really didn’t think it was possible, being named Captain somehow made Gabe even hotter.
But more than just making me swoon, he got me excited for hockey at a time when I’ve been pretty down. With the threat of a lockout looming the hockey die-hards on twitter have been grumpy as fuck (myself included). We’ve been whining, complaining, and over-evaluating every statement made by the NHL or NHLPA. I hadn’t seen a positive NHL related tweet in weeks until the announcement hit that Landeskog was named Captain. It was like the entire twitterverse smiled at once and suddenly everything was happy. I did a virtual high-five along with my fellow twitter-addicted Avalanche fans. Then I wandered around and informed all 700 people in my office building that Landy was the Avs Captain and explained why that is the best fucking news ever. Sadly most of my co-workers have barely heard of hockey (damn the South) but once I started flashing the picture below, which just happens to be saved on my phone, they were suddenly much more interested.
Let’s Mix in Some Swords
So how would Gabe fit into Game of Thrones? I admit my first thought was that Landeskog would be one of the children of the incest-twins but only because he is blonde and extra hot. Seriously, he could totally be their child...
But Beddee convinced me that Landy should be Robb Stark. Robb is hot and friendly but most importantly an honorable young king. Fine, I’ll give Beddee this one. He might have that sexy Lannister appearance but his heart is all Stark.
